One of the most difficult challenges, particularly in a same-sex relationship, is establishing boundaries with friends and blending with each others' friends. Plus, doing this while remaining secure and making each other feel like she is the most important person in the world!

Ordinarily in lesbian relationships, the majority of friends are the same-sex. Friends can be intrusive, meddlesome, opinionated, jealous, rude and inconsiderate; however, they can also be fun, supportive, considerate, helpful, and great sounding boards. There is no doubt, friends will either play havoc on a relationship or be accepting and considerate.

Let's work from the premise that the relationship is the top priority and friends are not (but still very important). There are several key areas to focus on that can immediately bolster the relationship. These areas need to be mutually established and respected:

Boundaries - Agree on parameters that are manageable. Determine what the negotiable and non-negotiable items are. Examples: Agree to both be home by 8pm, unless otherwise discussed; no answering phones during dinnertime; cell phones are off-limits when you crawl into bed. If you go to happy hour, invite the other to join or at least communicate plans and be home on time. Remember, these boundaries must be agreed upon. If you end up policing and penalizing because of the boundaries, what you have in place is not working. The boundaries are to be and feel respectful of each other, not to hold you hostage.

Communication - Make each other feel special, loved, secure and safe. Talk to each other about everything. Find out about what is important to each other, feelings, favorite things, pet peeves, goals and dreams, fears and phobias, food, children, families, etc. Get to really know each other better than anyone else. Build trust and respect. Make each other feel valued and important.

Common Interests - Explore what you enjoy doing together such as projects, travel, entertaining friends, cooking, golf, fishing, hiking, etc. It is not necessary to do everything together, but it is healthy to do some (enough) things together. It is important to have fun together and feel connected. Orchestrate your relationship so that you are not always running parallel, but have enough intersecting times that keep you in sync with each other.

Host social occasions - One way to blend with each other's friends is to jointly host social times at your home such as dinners and game nights. Another is to plan outings with joint friends such as happy hours, going to dinner and movies, so forth. The key is to become more comfortable with each other's friends. Make efforts to blend friends and be more inclusive.

Spontaneity - Surprise each other in ways that you know are appreciated and liked. Break the routine and break away from all others and do for each other. Make each other feel exceptional.

Happy, long-term relationships are to be nurtured treated as top priority. Focus on enjoying your time together. Include friends when it's appropriate and mutually agreed upon. There should be no feeling of competing for time, attention and love! Friends are to be fun additions.

Gayl Newton is a Living OUT Mentor who works with gays and lesbians to help them embrace who they are and live with confidence. For more articles and coaching information go to http://www.confidentlyout.com/.

View the original article here

As someone who's had some practice in the game of dating, you might feel that you will not need any kind of relationship advice. Whether you are straight, gay or bi, you will still have to take heed of words of wisdom concerning dating. it is a complex situation that can go either way. You might find yourself a bit stumped on what to do, much like any other individual, when you are out on a date with a good looking guy and you're simply wondering what to do to make a good impression. In spite of this, there's no have to put any huge stress on yourself. As a matter of fact, you can just relax and breathe easy, seeing as the following tips below should help you out:

- Always bear in mind that being you is a good thing. Many people often make the conclusion that trying to be someone you are not will make a great impression on others. However, you are just lying to yourself. You don't have to make up stories about your so-called achievements. This proves to be a pretty unattractive trait that'll simply get you nowhere with your date. The whole point of dating is for you and him to get to know each other a little better. Thus, it definitely helps to be a real individual, considering that you would like to develop a lot of respect between the both of you.

- Bear in mind that this is a date, and there must be a chat going in between certain activities. You wish to know more with him, therefore you need to ask him some questions. Do make sure that you actually listen to everything he's saying. The last thing any person would want is someone who's essentially a blank slate. Of course, this does not mean that you are just going to keep on listening for the whole duration of the date. As a matter of fact, this is your opportunity to tell more with yourself. Naturally, in relation to the tip mentioned above, be as authentic as possible. Both of you'll surely have several fun making efforts to get to know one another.

- And now for the golden rule: when engaged in gay dating, always keep in mind that you would like to treat him the way you yourself would want to be treated. Don't be rude. Be on time. Call him if you're going to be late.

Bernard Y invites you to http://www.freedating411.com/, dedicated to sharing useful information on relationships and everything under the sun concerning one's dating and love life.

View the original article here

My girlfriend is going to skin me alive after she reads this article, but she found out three years ago that my thoughts go against the grain in social issues. The question that I have been ruminating over the last couple of months was initiated by a friend asking me over key lime pie (my favorite!) "Can one person give you everything?" She was caught in a relationship where she felt emotionally fulfilled but was sexually lacking.

Now here was my answer, and this is not as a counselor, educator, or student- because I would totally take the safe and neutral stance by saying "well there is a continuum on every level of life... so... " But as just me, I don't think so. I have always felt that it is a lot of pressure to ask one person to be compatible on every level of a relationship. Imagine the work and expectations! With that said I personally battle with commitment and have difficulty with the concept of being with one person "forever. Also, my intention is not to offend the die hard romantics, like my girly, who believe in ever lasting partnership. I am simply exploring the question "what can we truly ask of each other in an intimate relationship?"

When I was 21, I ask my adoptive mother if she had ever loved more than one person at a time, especially during decade of marriage. She said "attraction is a chemical experience that we cannot control, but what we do with it is another thing". It was the first time anyone had ever told me that in life people will always be attracted to others, but that it was a choice on how we decided to act upon it.

My mother, on the other hand, told me that humans are not built for one relationship for life- although she emphasized that to every rule there are many exceptions. With the world getting smaller and information flowing in a much more rapid pace, I find people are becoming all the more diverse and interesting. It is hard not to feel attracted to others or multiple people at once.

My girlfriend calls this a disease, which makes me laugh. She describes people who are attracted to more than one person (aka me) as being a sex obsessed and girl infatuated lesbians. And for some of us it's true, but I do believe there is a genuine LESBIAN LOVE TRIANGLE that happens on occasion that is innocent, accidental and lust based. After all, unless you live in a huge metropolitan city, lesbian community tends to be small, and the law of proximity says that the more time you spend with others the more likely you are to become attracted to them.

The question is whether or not this is cheating or a defective behavior. The answer is in your intentions. If you're looking for someone just to stir the pot of passion, or because you're one of those lesbian bed hoppers (with absolutely no judgment because I am one!), or are always wanting what you can't have... well then there might be more to your lesbian love triangle than just being attracted to another woman.

People have told me in the past that when they have been attracted to more than one person, it often feels like an infatuation. And the truth is when brain chemicals start stirring during the initial attraction phase you might as well be high. We feel like we could not live without that person and that in order to be happy we need them. We start to feel like our sex lives are better and feel more confident. The passion and intoxication we feel we have lost with one partner is being ignited but another woman. But when has anyone you know made a good choice when intoxicated- even when it's induced by lust.

If your relationship is open and you both have agreed on being able to date, love, or sleep with multiple people than it's not a problem (and make sure you are both practicing safe sex and getting tested regularly). But that is a rare and often not an egalitarian situation. Someone often ends up feeling left out or used/

So should you do if you're in a Love Lesbian Triangle? You probably need to take a step back and see what's happening in your life presently, and also remember:

1.Love has no motives- are you seeking something, such as lust, sex, or passion? If you are getting or benefiting from someone while hurting another there is no respect or allegiance towards either person you're involved with.

2.Love has no rewards, but the gift of commitment. You cannot ask of another fully, if you are giving half of yourself to someone else.

3.Love does not demand or expect- If you're in the "I WANT" state of mind and pushing your partner to be something they're not then you cannot love your partner as the ideal self.

4.Remembering that fantasy rarely matches reality. If you're having problems with your partner, your stuff will still go with you into another relationships, and the lezzie on the other side is not always greener!

At the end of the day if you are that torn about your feelings for your partner or another woman, take some time for yourself, maybe not being with anyone will help you figure out what it is you're chasing. Seek guidance from a therapist that will help you gain some insight into the relationship issues that are troubling you. If there is a real connection, then it won't just fade out because you're trying to make good and healthy decisions- trust in yourself to learn what's right for you.

"... The plan will happen in spite of us, not because of us." Melody Beattie

Alex Karydi~The Lesbian Guru

I am an Internationally Certified Drug and Alcohol Counselor that has been trained in LGBT related issues. I write for the Examiner.com as their Lesbian Relationship Expert and am a featured writer at SexGenderBody.com. My intention is to start a movement towards a healthier and more supportive community! Where our community can find one another, learn from each other, and build a stronger support system. I, myself, am on a personal quest of discovery for a healthier gay relationship and self-fulfillment.

If you have any questions, comments, or concerns please feel free to email me at TheLesbianGuru@Gmail.com with ExaminerQ as the title or you can follow me on my Blog http://www.thelesbianguru.com/! Join The Lesbian Revolution of Health & Love at http://Facebook.com/TheFemmeGuru

View the original article here

Most gays and lesbians would probably say something like this: Life is hard enough, why would we add more difficulties to our lives by choosing to be gay. We were born this way.

Even though we do not have a choice whether we are gay or not, we do have choices on how we orchestrate our lives. We choose our friends, partners, children, careers, residence, religion, fashion, cars, jewelry, and all the other stuff just like the general population. However, lesbians and gays do have some additional unique choices to make such as: when we come out, if we come out, who we come out to, being selectively out, living a dual life, or living openly out.

Why is discussing choices so important? Choices are what we have in our control. The decisions made are our own. Even when we do not decide, we are actually making a decision. There are very few instances that justify being a martyr.

Many gays and lesbians hold themselves hostage in the closet. The fear of being found out and the anxiety about the possible ramifications associated with being OUTED result in a self-imposed paralysis. They made the choice to hold themselves hostage; no one else caused this. The same goes for being selectively out and living a dual life (hidden at work and out socially). Once again, assumptions, fears and anxieties influence the decisions made.

Discontent and dissatisfaction have been the driving forces for many changes and inventions! If gays and lesbians are unhappy with the way their lives are arranged, they have the power to do something about it. They do not have to remain dissatisfied and unhappy. Making decisions to live confidently out may not be easily accomplished, but the results could be very liberating.

For instance, take a realistic situation concerning friends and family. If a gay or lesbian fears rejection by friends and family for being gay, realize that if this is true, then this is an impossible condition to change. Being gay cannot be changed by guilt. What happens next?

Although we do not have the choice of selecting our family, the amount of time spent with them is our decision. For many families, it just takes time for them to get used to the fact that they have a family member who is gay. Once they realize that the same funky person that they have always known has not changed because of being gay, the awkwardness subsides.

As for friends, it hurts to be rejected by them. If they cannot love us as we are, then this prejudicial information is good to know. Just like anybody else, gays do not want to be only tolerated by friends, but rather loved and accepted. For emotional and psychological reasons, it is healthier to seek out new friends who are compatible, supportive and positively fun.

Ideally, choices are made to better our situations and lives. If you are feeling disjointed or exhausted by living a delicately balanced life, then pay attention to your internal symphony. It may be telling you to make a healthy decision about coming out to significant people. Coming Out may be not be as scary as you think.

The choices you make will either allow you to embrace being gay or to punish yourself. You are orchestrating your life by making these key decisions. Since you do not have the choice about being gay, why not make choices that enable you to live your life to its fullest potential. Stop scaring yourself and learn to live confidently gay.

Gayl Newton is a Living OUT Mentor who works with gays and lesbians on embracing who they are so they can live Confidently OUT. For more articles and coaching information, plus to receive a copy of her new ebook, "Stepping OUT" go to http://www.confidentlyout.com/.

View the original article here

Today is the 25th anniversary of an event that few other people have experienced; and that is to the good, because every day of my life during the past 25 years has been filled with fear. Putting these feelings into words and the words on paper feels necessary; but the decision to submit for publication is extremely difficult and frightening. Will "they" be shocked? Will "they" publish? Do I really want them to? What will happen if they do? Will I lose readers and followers as I lost so many friends and the respect of family members so many years ago?

That day started as so many other lovely Indiana spring days. I took my children to their piano lessons and used the wait time to deliver some papers to one of my Little League officers. I was the Little League president, but I didn't really need to deliver those papers...I just wanted to. I didn't yet realize why it was so important to me.

After ringing the doorbell, an unknown woman answered the door. I suddenly felt violently ill. The woman I had actually expected to see eventually came to the door, invited me inside, and made introductions I never heard. My ears were ringing. My heart was pounding. Nausea was overwhelming me. What was I feeling and why?

As I started the drive back to my children, I played the previous scene over and over in my head. What had just happened? Why was I reacting so severely? When the answer finally took form, I pulled my car to the side of the road. Then I cried, and cried, and cried. What I was experiencing was jealousy, but jealousy of what? What did it mean?

Over the previous few weeks, I had spent a great deal of time with the woman I had gone to see because of Little League score-keeping for ball games. I had already known she was getting divorced and that the divorce had something to do with her interest in another woman. I had been surprised by her earlier revelation, but not repulsed. In fact, I started looking forward to the games we worked together. I started making excuses to see her.

The recognition of the feeling I was experiencing as jealousy was too much to accept. How could I possibly be jealous of the affections of a woman? As a woman myself, I couldn't be jealous of another woman unless...unless I...unless I was "one of those" people.

When I was young, my mother had often pointed out "those" people (always men) and told me they would go to HELL! My little brother was not allowed in a public restroom because there might be one of "those" people waiting in there to... I was never quite sure what they would do, but I definitely got the message that "those" people did bad things and would be severely punished for eternity in HELL!

How could I be one of "those" people? I was 37 years old. I had a husband. I had two children about to become teenagers. I went to church every Sunday. My grandfather was a minister. This just could not be happening!

For the next few weeks, I existed in a daze. I really wasn't fully aware of what was happening around me. I cried often, lost weight rapidly, and I reflected on my past. Yes, I had been the typical tomboy. I had always hated frilly dresses and I loved climbing trees. I hated playing with dolls but loved playing basketball with the boys during recess. In junior high school, I paid little attention to either the boys or the girls, but I did have a whopping crush on my P. E. teacher. Back then, I hadn't realized it was crush (and now it seems so very stereotypical) but it was crush. In high school I had a "boyfriend" who was older, and in the military (Vietnam era); and, thus, I was SAFE in the sense that I didn't have to go on dates. I hated going on dates.

During college, I dated a male friend from high school; but he didn't attend my university, so again, the amount of dating was limited. I became very close friends with a freshman who lived on my floor in the dorm where I was a Student Staff. Her name was Barbara. She intrigued me because she was so different from the average "girlie" girl, and we spent a great deal of time together. We often talked for hours.

Before my junior year in college, my boyfriend asked me to marry him. I didn't really want to get married, but it was what good girls were supposed to do. My family liked him and his family liked me. So I said, "Yes." Before my senior year, we got married. I cried through my entire wedding. Now I understand what those tears were about.

As time passed, I continued to do what I was supposed to do. I finished my BS in Mathematics, started a teaching career, got an MA in Psychology, and started a family--boy and a girl. Life seemed perfect. When my daughter was about four years old the thought went through my head that "someday her father is going to be very upset." I didn't have the correct words to apply, but I was recognizing in her what I didn't recognize in myself.

As I looked at my past, I realized that I had always been "fascinated" by female couples that I saw at the mall, that there was a girl from high school that I thought about periodically, and that I occasionally had fleeting sexual thoughts about certain women that I always quickly "shut down." ("I wonder what it would feel like to...?" or "I wish I were a man so I could...") At the time, I truly believed all women had those thoughts.

Even with all that reflection, I still could not accept myself as a...dare I say it? As a Lesbian? I needed to talk to someone who might understand my confusion. All of my friends and family members were very religious people. Indeed, every person in town fit that description. There would be no understanding from anyone there. The person who finally came to mind was Barbara. She had moved to Colorado immediately after she graduated, but because she visited her parents in Indiana and generally visited us at the same time, we had stayed close. During our college days I had always believed she was a lesbian, but we had never discussed it. I knew for sure that she had a gay brother, so I felt she would listen without telling me that I was going to HELL! I called her and asked if I could visit-saying that I needed to talk.

Barbara believed that I was coming to tell her that I was getting divorced. When I finally worked up the strength to tell her why I was really there, she stood up and left the room. I didn't understand. When she finally returned, she explained that exactly the same thing was happening with her in Colorado. She had left to room to ponder why I had entered her life at that specific time and to consider telling me about her own struggles. We had both found ourselves attracted to unavailable women and wondering what to do about it. As we talked, it became clear that the lesbian label was undeniable. A new life, along with its set of fears, started for both of us.

We started looking for helpful information in lesbian bookstores. I hadn't known such a thing even existed. We discussed ramifications. As teachers, we were painfully aware that if anyone found out, we would lose our jobs. I had the added complications of a husband and children. Could I continue to be married and just pretend to be heterosexual? If I decided I couldn't, would my children be taken from me? At that time, lesbians were considered unfit to raise children.

I returned to Indiana with very few answers. My husband took care of first question a few days after I got home. One night, after we had gone to bed, he turned to me and said, "Are you a lesbian?" I was momentarily shocked into silence. Finally I managed a shaky "Why would you ask that?" "I found this book," he answered as he pulled out my recently purchased "Our Right To Love." I thought I had so carefully hidden this book in a cabinet he never opened. I remember looking to the sky and thinking, "Thanks for your help!"

I had never lied to my husband. He was my best friend. So, I told him the truth. "That depends on your definition. If you are asking if I have had sex with a woman, the answer is no. If you are asking if I now identify myself as a lesbian-a woman who prefers the companionship of a woman-then the answer is yes." To his credit, my husband was wonderful. We talked long into the night. He understood this wasn't something he could fight. We discussed options and ramifications. I told him I felt I needed to move to Colorado Springs both to be near Barb and to get away from Indiana. He initially decided to move with us and he helped us move and get established in Colorado. In the end, he decided he couldn't stay in Colorado; but I will forever be grateful for his help and support. I still wish we could have stayed best friends as he had promised.

Life in Colorado has been more difficult and frightening than I had ever imagined it could be. A bitter divorce, constant financial worries, raising 2 children without their father, building a new relationship with a woman, dealing with my partner's issues surrounding childhood abuse, teaching in the environment of fear of discovery created by Focus On The Family and Amendment 2, raising a lesbian daughter, raising a teenage son in a house full of women, learning to accept myself as a lesbian, learning how to be a lesbian, having no friends, and constantly fearing for the safety of all of us were just a few of the issues we faced; and all of this will be the material of another article.

Initially, the decision to write and submit this article seemed very difficult; but when I think of the young people who get bullied at school, who question who they are, who get kicked out of their own homes, who feel there is no hope, and who think suicide is their only option, the correct decision is obvious. I will always feel so very sad for my students who obviously--to me--needed help but didn't get any from me due to my own fears. I still feel ashamed of myself for not being stronger then. I now understand that we must all FIGHT THE FEAR. We must do so for those who will follow us. Hopefully, someday, no one will need to live in fear for who they are!

Am I afraid to hit the SUBMIT button? Absolutely! Barbara has watched me cry as I have been writing and mentally re-living it all. She just asked if I want to reconsider. Absolutely NOT! But when I ask myself why I haven't written this sooner, the answer is that I have been afraid. Why can I write it now? I simply must. One of the magazines I write for chose FEAR as the topic of the month...and, sadly, I have become an expert on fear!

NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO LIVE EVERY MOMENT IN FEAR FOR WHO THEY ARE!

Shirley Slick, "The Slick Tips Lady," generally writes about mathematics education and animal welfare/rescues. Her education website is at http://myslicktips.com/. Her animal welfare website is at http://slicktipsaboutdogrescues.com/. She is just beginning to write about gay/lesbian issues because our gay young people need to know that it will get better. They are not alone. Contact information can be found at either website.

View the original article here

Lesbians, like everyone else, would like to find the perfect match. Why does this often seem like mission impossible? Why is finding Ms. Perfect such a difficult ordeal? And, why do many lesbians repeatedly attract the "wrong" people into their lives?

Perhaps before heading out on the dating route again, first do an inspection; check your engine, maps, and all vital info! Are you destined to have another hellacious journey? The information I am going to suggest may throw a grenade into your game plan... You may need to deactivate whatever funky mojo magnetism you are radiating!

Are you ready for this? This may be shocking news. The first thing you must do is Stop Masquerading, Stop Being Something You Are Not. Be Authentic, i.e. Be Who You Truly Are. That's it. Sounds too simple?

With that said, as in almost any pursuit in life, it is helpful to know what you want so that you can determine an effective strategic plan, i.e. Who do you want to attract into your life? Even though it is imperative for you to be authentic, you may still need to do some self-improvement and tweaking.

Do an inventory of qualities and characteristics you most admire in people. If you are wanting to attract someone who is sophisticated, a smart dresser, educated, physically toned and fit, and smells fabulous, are you doing what it takes to attract this person? Are you a good match for your Ms. Perfect?

To get your thoughts rolling on identifying the attributes and characteristics you admire and desire, here are some possible qualities to consider: sense of humor, dependable, generous, honesty, compassionate, mature, forgiving, a good listener, patient, loving, kind, respectful, trustworthy, intelligent, open-minded, fun, not too opinionated, well-mannered, sharp appearance, gracious and appreciative, educated, professional, articulate, healthy and fit, etc.

Now...Ask yourself, do you possess and mirror the qualities and characteristics you value and admire in others? If not, WHY do you think you will be a magnet for someone who possesses these awesome attributes? Haven't you heard of the Law of Attraction?

Before you have another nightmarish encounter, do a self-assessment. A gap analysis may be just the ticket. Get a sheet of paper and list all those attributes and qualities you desire and admire. Be honest. Is there a gap between who you are and what you are looking for in Ms. Perfect? Describe how the reality of your life differs from your ideal existence regarding these qualities.

Begin focusing on the qualities worth incorporating in your life. Develop specific goals directed towards closing the gap. Design an action plan per goal. Make the action steps attainable and realistic. Have a coach or friend hold you accountable to your commitments. Achieve results!

The point is, be the same caliber of person you want to attract. Respect yourself enough to work at being that person. Don't you think it is awe-inspiring to know that you are destined to be someone's Ms. Perfect. Take action NOW!

Gayl Newton is a Living OUT Mentor who works with gays and lesbians to help them embrace who they are and live with confidence. For more articles and coaching information go to http://www.confidentlyout.com/.

View the original article here

First let me say I'm not personally invested in the issue, being neither gay nor married. But having been blessed with a wide range of super-powers, I've feel it's my duty to come to the aid of my fellow human beings in their hour of need.

Not long ago, when class warfare broke out between the job creators and the working poor over taxes, I took a momentary break from being one of America's favorite authors and worked out a solution, then forwarded it to New York Senator Charles Schumer via e-mail.

Although I received no thanks, recognition or parade in my honor, several weeks later President Obama brought up a proposal virtually identical to mine before Congress.

I still think a parade would have been nice.

So anyway, with this gay marriage issue polarizing this country, I've come up with a plan to fix it.

So here we go.

The issue is that the gay community wants to marry in the same manner as heterosexual couples and receive all the advantages and disadvantages that go with it.

Seems like a reasonable request.

However, the fact that more than 50% of all marriages end in divorce is like demanding the right to fly on an airline that crashes and burns every other time it take to the air. So it's obvious the problem has nothing to do with the sex of the people wanting to marry, it's with the institution itself.

What's wrong with marriage?

Everything.

Since time began marriage has been a religious ceremony. That's right, RELIGIOUS. Which means the state has no legal right to perform the service as it is a clear violation of the separation of church and state.

Second, modern day divorce laws are outdated, misogynistic, and seriously biased based on gender specific profiles that never had any scientific evidence to support them For example, women are almost automatically awarded custody of the children, yet there is no proof whatsoever that women are better able to raise children than men. Alimony was created to keep the ex-wife, (who, in the old days, was rarely educated or taught marketable skills) from starving and becoming homeless. Today more women graduate from medical school than men. Also needing to be scrapped is the old 'maintaining a life style to which one has become accustomed.'

Seriously?

Ever lose a high paying job and were unable to secure another with the same perks and pay scale? Was your former employer under any obligation to continue paying you that high salary until you got a new job? Ask any person over 40 working a fast food joint about that, odds are they'll have a tale that will send chills down your spine.

What we need to do is scrap the entire process and start from scratch.

Here's how it should be done.

The state discontinues performing marriages. Instead offers only co-habitation contracts to all couples, regardless of gender, wanting the advantages the former marriage agreement provided.

In those contracts, specific terms, conditions and personal responsibilities are laid out beforehand. Additions or subtractions could be inserted (similar to a pre-nup) according to the couples wishes. Then once the terms are agreed upon the co-hab contract would be registered with the state in the same manner former marriages were. At that point the couple would be allowed to check the 'Married" box on any legal form, tax form or job application and received the same benefits awarded to any religiously married couple. (Those who opt to be married in a religious ceremony would also have to apply for and receive a state approved co-habitation contract before being awarded that legal privilege.)

This way marriage gets redefined as a legal arrangement that provides the same benefits to all involved.

Seriously, a guy wearing a pointy hat, yarmulke or turban telling you in a loosely worded ceremony that you are now joined in matrimony dies not a legally binding agreement make.

Going this route solves two problems. One, everyone gets equal treatment under the law and race, gender, religion are no longer factors. Two, any religious institution willing to marry same sex couples could do so and those whose religious tenets prohibit it would be exempt without penalty.

This could be easily adopted by all 50 states, streamline the rights of all co-habituating couples and jettison the religious aspect without changing or involving the state in any of their rules and regulations. In fact, this process could easily be adopted by the entire world!

And if it is, well... All I can say is that there damn well better be a Zackary Richards float in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade that year!

View the original article here