It's Time to Start Dating Again

Many of us will have had a variety of dating experiences. Starting with the early crushes at school and then the intensity of our young loves we will no doubt have had several ups and downs throughout our dating life. As we get older many of us will have started investing more seriously of ourselves, hoping to form a longer term relationship with a life partner.

If those hopes don't materialise we may for a time decide to take a break from dating. That break can be wisely employed for healing, recovering from the heartbreak and also deciding what it is that we really want from a longterm partner. As time goes by we will gradually start to feel ready, that it's time to start dating again.

Let's look at ways to know it's time to start dating again.

- Be true to yourself. Many people look to the press, popular magazines, their local clubs and bars to see what is the most aspirational look of the moment. Whilst it is interesting to be aware of popular media, the latest fashions and trends turning yourself into a clone of everyone else is certainly no recipe for success in the dating game. And in fact, wearing the latest clothes and hanging out in the latest places can be wearing, draining and tiresome especially if you'd much rather be doing something completely different. When it's time to start dating again being true to yourself is a much more effective of finding someone suitable for you.

- Work on your issues. If you find that you repeat negative patterns of behaviour, cannot handle disagreements or confrontation, become hostile when faced with advice or criticism, why not commit to hypnotherapy or counselling as a way of addressing your issues before it's time to start dating again. Hypnotherapy is a valuable way of understanding the reasons for those old reactions and responses and then appreciating that as they no longer serve a useful purpose they can now be let go.

- Appreciate advice but make your own choices and decisions. The important people in your life, family, friends are often invested in seeing you settled. They want you to be happy, but they may have their own agenda with advice and opinions. Appreciate their advice but remember that it's you who has to live with the choices you make. By all means, enjoy their care and attention but take a step back and work out what's best for you.

- Take care of yourself. The ending of a relationship can be a devastating blow to our confidence and self-esteem. What needs to happen to improve those areas for you? Yes, hypnotherapy can be a help, but so too can taking the time to refresh your image. Some people take the opportunity to update their look, lose a little weight, tone up, change the way they dress, join a gym, learn some new skills. Making an effort to invest time and energy into yourself is a good way to prepare for when it's time to start dating again.

- Say 'yes' to invitations. Even something that does not sound especially appealing may lead to making new friends, meeting interesting people, engaging in new, unexpected activities. Say 'yes' because you never know where it may lead.

- Maintain an interest in what's happening around you. It's important to be able to join in with popular, topical discussions, especially when it's time to start dating again. Retaining the ability to converse socially is important. Many people are fine conversing in a professional environment; they know what is expected of them and are able to maintain their confidence in those situations. Social conversations are often more testing as there is no agenda for them. Maintain an interest in several topical areas so that you can feel confident about initiating or joining relaxed conversations.

- Be proactive with your social life. Familiarise yourself with future events, concerts, shows, sporting fixtures and organise dates with the people in your sphere. This way you ensure that you are busy, have a fun and interesting time away from work and as a consequence, may even meet someone with whom you get on especially well.

Having a special someone in your life adds companionship, support, friendship, sex into your life. Being out of the dating loop for a while can impact on your self-esteem, confidence and feel an unsettling time. It can be useful to use your single time to address your issues, look after yourself and appreciate the single life. Then when it's time to start dating again you're not desperate, but looking for someone who will enhance your life and make it better.

Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief, with couples in crisis to improve communications and understanding and with business clients to help support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams.

Further help, advice and articles are available.

For more information email, phone or visit http://www.lifestyletherapy.net/

View the original article here