How Opening Up to Truth Leads to Love

In a transformational group process, when participants are emotionally triggered by each other, they often react to each other without having clear information about what the reaction is based on. So it's like they are on auto-pilot, operating blindly. One way to access truth in that circumstance is to focus in on what is really of concern to the participants. This is a way to get clarity about what the emotional trigger is really about. They explore what is really underneath the reaction, both in their own personal responses, and what the actual facts are. The truth is occurring on several different levels. The most surface level of truth is what is actually, factually happening, i.e. "So-and-so did this, and so-and-so said that." Under that are the questions: "What are the fears and emotions being brought up in those of us who are involved? How are we emotionally responding?" The process of coming to truth is to get clarity about what's happening both inside of yourself and inside of the people that you're responding to.

It is working with units of experience, and slowing things down. Rather than jumping right away to how you deal with whatever seems to be the problem, you slow the process down, so you can see what's actually happening. So the process in you is first you're feeling upset about something, or whatever the first process is for you. And then you're feeling that someone might attack you. And then you move on to absorbing his emotions. It's a defense system process that holds in place an adversarial experience of reality. When you feel you're going to be attacked, that's seeing the other person as your adversary. And then the next part of that process is you defend yourself.

Instead, slow the process down so that it can be pulled apart, so something different can happen that's not destructive to you or the other person -- but that, in fact, leads to love.

And then by slowing down and following your process, we can investigate what's actually going on. Doing this is not only safe, but the bottom line is that life is benevolent; it leads to love. So if you look at what really is going on, it's going to turn out to be positive. What creates things being negative and adversarial is skipping over things with assumptions. And then people end up attacking each other, and then they prove their fear that it's dangerous. But if you really take it apart piece by piece and really look at what it is, and investigate how people are really responding and what is happening, you will find out that it is based on love. Love is really the only thing that's really there, underneath the defense systems.

Jane Ilene Cohen is an Intuitive & Transformational Counselor, Teacher & Author, and a NLP & TimeLine Master Practitioner, with a private practice in San Diego North County. She does individual counseling, works with couples & families, and facilitates groups. For more about Jane's counseling services go to: http://www.janecohencounseling.com/

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